Z: July 2009

Stay in...mad

These few day, i am suffer in bad condition.
I don't know what i m doing now~

I want to do my homeworks, but the evils are always annoying me,
my brain is sucked, no idea and refuse to do it.
I have try harder to do it, but it took me the whole day to design one part of the room ONLY !
I am going to insane !! Why i stepping backward ???

Moreover, my car is used to 'decorate', nothing to use for
Just let it rest under the shade..
My car also has a happiness life... 真是托主人的福

So.. !?
I really dont know what to do..
It is useless when i always try asking for drive..

Don't know ...

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The missing wings

For outsider, I am a happiness bird
i have anything that others eager for..
I am lack for 'nothing'.

"I have a happy life" --- this is true.
But how i get it ? --- i exchanged it with MY WINGS

I am a happy bird which stay longer in the cage
I just can see the others birds flying freedom in the sky ~~ fly to anywhere they like ~
through my cage.
When i look at them, i am so envy..
But now i cant do anything, because my cage is locked
even it is unlock, i aslo cant fly to anywhere --- because the wings are not mine
The wings are not belong to me !!!

When i am at outside, i have a temporary wings
it will stop function when the time's up, remind me to back to my cage

Otherwise, i have the fade wings when an aeroplane is above me
(aeroplane's parents = Parents those always guide and instruct their childern strictly, 【直升机父母】）
So 'i can fly' , when they are hold my body

When can i come out from the cage and fly in ease ? When i 21st ?
I dont think so. The real answer is infinity~ unknown ~

I am waiting, i will wait it !
I want volitation, i dont want fly without any meaning...

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Talent !?

What is my talent ? I have no idea...

I am still little bit scare of my ID assignment, it has a lot of works need to do during this holiday. Before took it out, i recalled the scene of that day and my sense of fearing is coming again. But i think that i must overcome and do it as well as possible.

Finally, i nerve myself to take it out then go through my sketches and think how to develop it...

Luckily, my cousin was came to my house. She showed me the interior design which my another cousin brother designed it. He is so excellent.. (admire~envy~)

In the first instance, i want to show her my lousy sketches, at the same time i thought that it is so shameless```

BUT i need to get improve, so i showed her finally.
She really shared a lot of ideassss with me , point out the my 'weird' design..
After that, i was awaken ! Many ideas float in my mind~
( although i think it but not draw it down yet)
THANKS THANKS THANKS... you are my angel ~

Why she has so many ideas in her mind ? why i cant think it before?
Is it she has the talent of thinking ideas ?
I am studying this course, why i cant think it do it as well ??
I dont have the talent ???

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Recall

Today i cleaned my tiny room.

Although it is tiny but i took a whole day to clean it.

I need a bigger room !!! A bigger desk !!!

My desk is too short and narrow to fix my paperssss

and full of stationery, note booksss and etc..

There is almost don't have the walkway to flow, because of my thingsss again.

Lack of storage !!!

I moved out my useless things from the drawer and throwed it with cruelhearted. Goodbye ~

As i cleared my things, i found my 'unique' toys..
These toys are the most fun which i think it. hahaha~

Dala ~

Balloons, UNO dices, cup pads, snoopys and KFC's doll

A 'meal' with 'water'

These toys really let me recall when i was naive ``` i still played it when i was in secondary school.. haha ~

I still remember that my grandma gave us the pail, she found and gave us specially.

While now, the pail is rusted, but the memory is not rusted, it still retained intact.

Besides that, i like to play the cashier game too. You pay for me then i give change for you...

Nice x3 GIFT CARD

Nice~

These cards were 'stole' from the supermarket at Melbourne. :P

There were a lot of these gift card put at counter there to let the clients sign up or what.

Clients can choose it randomly according which one u like most. But as a traveller, i took all ``

I acted like the thief which not stole the clothes but the cards !!! hehe

It really nice, not like our country, cheap and the pictures are monotony...

Ok, after that sorry for i dont have enough space to keep them again,

i make them homeless.

To make sure they can stay longer with me, finally i keep them in the drawer outside my room and it is also the time to pass the toys for my future nephew or neice... and tell them these toys are uniqueness in this world by their aunty.. haha

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Self rescue

I pray i can improve and learn a lot of things everyday.

But, what i had improved ? I feel i have lag behind conversely ~
Maybe i become lazy, lack of self- motivate

I saw my friends' works
they are so so so intelligent, i am scare ~

Now, no one can safe me, the only way is self rescue
I should do smart and hardworking than them many many timessss
I hope i can surmount the difficultiessss...

God bless me ~

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Struggling

Before the presentation of ID, i had done my assign. from the morning
until 4am and it persisted for 4 days !!!
Last time it works for me until i had a good presentation (art history) on the next day.
Unfortunately, this time was totally different... everything is out of my imagination !
(Actually, i also had worried about the presentation for the whole week
because my classmates are too strong! )

On the next day,
poor performance during the presentation.
The lecturer impatience and serious facial expression had drive away my confidence,
i tried to present more but he was keep going said' hurrp up, hurrp up'
my heart was pitpat pitpat ```
finally i done the presentation imperfection (so sad)

Don't know why, after this poor presentation,
i afraid on ID, there is no confidence in my heart now
really scare i cant catch up others' steps...

Moreover, i also suddenly weary of burning the midnight oil
last time it was my 'strength' before the exams and presentation :P
but now it is doesn't work for me...

Now i am feel scare and lack of confident to face the ID
i know this is my major course,the bread and butter in my future.
But the my confidence is far apart ~~