烂透了

自从那天（21st）起，
我觉得我烂透了 ！！！

爸都没有跟我说话，直到今天
可是，一波未平一波又起
当他能和我说话时，我又要他‘签证’了

明天要和三个男生去找建筑材料
之前就商量着了，只是拿不到护照
我早已有心理和准备
也很担心只有我一个女的

刚才一开始，我和理和气地，笑笑地，跟他讲，他不理睬
第二次，我在大家面前讲，他假装听不到
第三次，我到他的房间找他，我说：‘爸，明天我要出去’。。。
他不应我。我妈就说：‘他在跟你讲话，你没听见吗？’
爸竟然说：“她（我）是在跟你（妈）讲话，还是我？”

我没话说，只是心很痛，很痛。。
强忍着眼泪，再说一次。。
始终不回答，只说以后什么事跟妈讲好了
。。。。。

妈之前也没直接答应，我知道他们在担心
我，却答应了朋友

突然，妈进来了。讲着讲着，想着想着
我还是换回他们没有同意，没有签过的护照
就这样，我又跟朋友道歉！

还有，很不巧，很不巧的，巧克力打来 ！
妈还坐在我旁边，接咯，过后，哥在我后面
我没说什么，只是‘嗯，啊，哦’的回答
挂了，妈知道是他，因为只有他酱晚才打来
妈就问：‘为什么还跟他讲电话，你不是很讨厌他的吗?’

现在，知道我烂的地方在哪里了吗？
整个放假我都烂透了，做一些不正当的东西
是时候反省反省了。。

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What's wrong with me ??

What am i doing now ???

Last night, i was decided to go to college to find my lec.
then i thouhgt that it is unworthy to just a few minute then come back again
so i invited chocolate to have lunch with me
but he is busy then ok

I am still chatting with otherss during the midnight

While, during the afternoon, my sister in law's youngest brother
not only chat with me, but my relatives too
We never talk to each other before and we are seldom to meet too
but msn and fb are always the '''best''' mass media
and also is the 'dangerous' place for me

Suddenly, he invited us to watch Avotar
we were shocked, we are not well known each other
but he can invited us
ok, i rejected him
because i dont like to watch movie ~ and feel weird too

From that second, i feel like i was lost control
Unexpectedly !!!! i invited him to have lunch with me
he can attend wo
After that, i thought just both of us only
so i invited my cousin too
Ok, everything was decided during at the MIDNIGHT

At this MORNING, i told my mum
and i made a BIG BIG MISTAKE !!!!!!
i FORGOT to tell my dad

Everthing dead at here
During the way to back home, i told my dad i want to droped my cousin
DIE !! He was angry why i did not tell him my cousin went along with me
As usual, i was shaking again ``
we were thought how to explain to my dad from SURISE to his office

After arrived his shop, he just keep quiet, his face was so so black
this is harbinger of a 'storm'
we were scared~ but i was decided to tell him the truth

On the contary, i have not explain to him yet,
i dont know how and when to 'open mouth'
He also not even ask me anything
but my sister had told him we ate lunch

Now, he is think that i lie him
i do not go to college instead of i han out with my cousin !!

YO ~ i feel that i very cheap
how can i hang out with a guy that i just chat with him
and how can i did not tell my dad
how can bring along my cousin !!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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何谓真心

昨晚，巧克力sms我，说那些有的没有的

sms 到懒惰了，就打给他直接说晚安好了，可是！！！！！

我们的晚安似乎很长气 ～～～ 需要一个小时半 ！！！

死定了，讲到凌晨三点 ！！

就说到他喜欢的对象，我不知道她是谁，只知道他喜欢她很久了

讲着讲着，将到我这里

PS: 其实，我在吉隆玻逛街时，我遇到了‘他’

就这么的巧，一开始我觉得这是缘分，我即紧张又兴奋

可是有些东西不是我想象的完美，从头到尾，他没有看我一眼

算了，顿时感到我的兴奋慢慢的转变到（一点点的）伤心

相信吗? 这些东西我都跟巧克力讲了

他是个超级活跃的人，他交友很广也很好学

我承认，我在他的身上学到很多东西

因为他很喜欢跟我讲经，人生道理，分享他的经验

说道分享，就是没完没了，他会把百分百的东西跟我分享

所以他很爱讲话，所以知道我曾经block他的原因了吗

就是这样，他也希望我会和他分享我的东西

问题是，我不会拿出百分百吧！我想我有我的隐私权

说着说着，谈到真心

不管做什么事，他都是用心对待，他也会先看人，扫描过了才拿出他‘何谓的真心’

他说他只跟我一个人，可以聊到这样多话题
他也说他希望我是用心跟他交朋友 ！？

掛电话后，他又传简讯给我：

‘老实说，我希望你到未来是一个可以交心的朋友

不会在后面重伤我的人，真的。。。’

天哪 ！！我还第一次收到这样的简讯叻

我不知道该觉得开心，有这样的朋友

还是惭愧，因为我还是有所保留，没有交出百分百的真心

不过在我的字典里，没有百分百的定义，只要觉得双方都不会受伤

开开心心，和平和气就好了

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Go Away !!

Today, after presentation i hang out with my classmate to Gurney ~
For our culture, the one way to 'release' before the holiday is to
SHOUT at Redbox !!!!

After having cheaper economic rice, four of us went to sing

I am always the crazy one when enter to the room
i sang a lot and a lot, almost i hold the mic all the time :P
shout to release mah, although my voice is husky, hehe

I am always attract by his voice, because his sound is ok la, not bad lo
although we are often sing together
but.. when i sang the song that give me the 'feelings'
i will recall ... the devils were spining around

i already dont have the feelings for a long time,
so please, please go away...
We are friend ...

During the way back to college,
he called, 'mum ~'( in front of her beloved)
At first i were dont know bacause i am not in the condition
Then he keep calling again, i were get shocked
how dare he calling me like this in front of her, i scare she will...
maybe i think too much but
i am feel better at that time ~~
I am a crazy women !!!

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Happiness

Yeah ~ my brother is married !!!

We have a sister-in-law and also look like i have a big sister

Very very happy

pretty sister-in-law in stay in our home

We are family !!!

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放下

放下埋怨
放下私心
放下悲伤

才发现 原来被背包是很轻的
再装进 努力 快乐 享受

才能在天空翱翔
飞得更高 更远

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被善良欺骗了

渐渐的，已习惯一个人
不过当中有好也有坏

好，
我可以做我喜欢做的东西，
到安静的图书馆，闻一闻书香
让自己沉浸在书里~
没人打扰，没有噪音，没有压力

有可能，好的同时也带着坏
这样，只会让我和班上的朋友，越离越远
不能融入他们的圈子里
因为他们每天讲的，完完全全是没有营养的话！！
还有，自私心越来越严重了，
班上的人从来都不在图书馆出现
所以，我也不知道为什么，我不让他们知道我在图书馆。。

心也越来越敏感了
常怀疑他们会说我的背后话，而静静的一个人
只从他们偷偷地去做功课而不让其他人知道，我就更怕他们重蹈覆辙


其实，以上的问题都是恶性循环
很矛盾的，每次都会想，人家对我残忍，为什么我还要对他们继续的善良

当我也想残忍时，心里却一直想着：以后我也会得到残忍的报应
而做回那良心常被欺骗的人 ~

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何时变了

何时心变得那么的空虚
一个人完成事情

何时心变得那么的寂寞
天天独自消耗上课的时间

何时心里的恶魔越来越多
变得有些自私

何时变得那么的不知足

一直在伤心和埋怨

何时，原来的我才会回来呢 ？

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Missing Direction

Now is not the time for me to blogging,
but i dont know how to solve my problem..

First week of opening school had passed, everyone is seem like refresh and
become 'stronger' after the come back from holiday
And i am scare of them..

Everything is back to the origin, i am alone when i in the class
Really dont know the problem is come from me or what..
i can join them when they are fooling around,
they always speak lauder, so i sure lose them, i just sit behind
and laugh with their jokes

Sometimes i try to be fun with them
but when i try to say something funny or jokes
totally no respond afterward, ok~ maybe that is not funny at all
i try to use 'their language' to make fun
but same result
Sometimes i also feel that, why i want to use people language ?
that is not me ! not a real Z !!

I totally dont know how to solve the problem
on the other way, i am worry that my friend will criticise me
say me i am not friendly and arrogant

To avoid these kind of things, i had helped them a lot
UNFORTUNALY, they always give me the respond that make sad
for instance, my friend told me that he cant use the software
i try to ask my other friend, brother, even explode myself to answer him
finally, he can use it but he DID NOT let me know
luckily i heard it , if not i am the idiot to help him, meaningless
Now is my turn, i cant activate the software, i told my friend
what is his respond ??? NO ANSWER
he asked me how to use the software ? ask this ask that CONVERSELY
FINE ~~~ i am fine ~

The most thing that i worry is my studies
i cant lose again ... cant lose...
they are strong, everyday they look relax and enjoy
in real, they have done the work at home
i am worry ... thats why sometimes i will suffer with my fast heartbeat

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Unbelievable & Unexpectable

Yesterday ( thursday), i was happy that my penang's friends
invited me to have lunch together !!
After finish our western food for lunch,
i sat my friend's car, SMART 2, went back to college

Walau... his car is so so so different, like alien's car, hahaha
interior totally different
But one thing is good for looking only, the car is too small,
impraticality (shh~ dont let him know) hahaha

Because of my brother could't picked me yet
so i went to their department (Fashion Department) to wait ~

Then they suddenly said want to bought some fabrics
they invited me went there together again
since i had to wait my brother, so i followed them

After that, they brought me to eat fig jelly ice ( 爱玉冰) at the roadside
My first time again
My friend and i went down to bought,
my god !!! i got shocked !!
there are no flies but BEE !!!!! many type of beessssss !!!
then we ate in the car..

Finally back to college again, accompany my friend a while then back home ~
Always follow different friends will learn some different things
As long as we will not learn the bad. I like it !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My diploma 2nd semester's result had came out
This holiday i am worry about my computer studies !!
Yesterday, i went to check it
PASS !!! totally unbelievable
i had think that i will fail the subject, because i cant finish it during the exam
and now i got A-

While the subjects that i sacrificed my slumber time
done it very hard and expect the subject will better than last time
the kindergarten's drawing, then get a better result
But many things happened unexpectable, i get B+ ONLY !!!
Argh !!! My friends that so so one , get A !!!!
The worse thing is my GPA, my god !! 2.8 only !!!
Last time more than 3.2, now ~~ 3.3 is the highest
All of us are drop..

New semester is coming soon, i cant lose again
Need to work very very hard !! Must get improve ~

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Betrayed by Selfishness

Again and again
I am always try hard not to care about it
but selfishness always betray me instead

The day we having lunch, shopping and buying materials together
were over, that all are present tense
Dont know why i still cant let it go

When i saw u treat her better than me, i will go away
Although i am always console myself that,
u dare to treat me follow yr expression
do whatever yours pleases to me, tell me your problems are because
we know each other longer.

I am selfish enough
I always think that what you done for me
u cannot do twice to others
But in real, i cant control u, i dont have the title to do that
(this bad thinking not only on him, but everyone )

Another selfish-minded is
last time when we went to KL
you sat beside me in the bus
But now, u are sitting with your beloved
on the way to Genting ...

In fact, i am not fancy to him
I am just ... used to together with him
and now everything are changing ...

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Hard Period

Last two weeks, i am rushing my assignments like hell...
Totally no time for me to rest
i had one week no even touched the tv and newspaper ~

i spend more than 12 hours to do my assign..
late slept and woke up earlier
this lifestyle persisted for more than one week...

Somemore, my first experience
before the presentation, i only slept for one and the half hour !!!!
i done my work until 6.30 in the morning,
i heard my mum was woke up but i am not even sleep yet !!

During the morning 4-5am, my hands and legs were shaking
i was very scared, why suddenly shaking like that...
and also my heart beats rapidly ~ suffer !!!
maybe i was not restthe whole night ~

After the day presentation, i felt relax ~
Finally i slept at 8.30pm until the next day
14hours of slumber to recover the sleepless night..

And now ~~~~~
Finally i am holiday ~~~~~~~~~

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A meaningful day !!

Same as usual, i drove to college and parked at my favourite area --- yellow line

During the lunch time, my friend phoned me to move my car

because the police was came to wrote the samban

then i quickly ran down and moved my car...

I U-turn for 2 times, still dont have a proper place

i saw my classmates and lecturer were crossing the road

i asked them where to have lunch

they asked me weather want to follow them to SUBWAY or not

i am ok.... after that they asked me can be the driver ...

hahahaha, actually they invited me was used to sit my car...

ok ~ this is the first time, i carried my 3 classmates and lecturer to having lunch together

hehehe !! happy !! at least i done something

After arrived SUBWAY, my cute lectuter paid the parking fee for me...

Thanks, sir !!

-----------------------

Today is a special day

my lesson is until 9.30 PM !! cool !!!

At first, my class is until 8pm, but my classmates want to extend to 9.30pm

so that we no need to make up the missed lesson on other day

they want sekali terus

i am ok too... that is cool and great, i like it !! hahaha

So, today we were doing assignment for 12 hours in class !!

We ate nothing for dinner ~

Finally my friends cannot endure the hunger

they went to buy fruitssss

we satisfied our hunger with fruits only ~

what a special day..

Dont know why i was still spiritedness all the time..

Had the mood to continue my works

although all of my friends was started to fooling around and having fun

they sang the kids' song, discuss funny topic and funny incident happened ~

After that, my parents on purposely came to picked me up..

Wah... Today my time is fullfil and meaningful...

At least i had done something ~

What a special day !!!!

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Lost but LUCKY

Something has lost between us
The bond between us is weak and weak day by day
You make the bond weak

Maybe you feel nothing, but i feel no used at the begining

I should think positively !
Although i am lost something, but i should feel lucky
because you are not the best, you are not my real choice

Maybe i can become smarter and independent without your accompany
Your leaving is the starting point for me to learn
Hopefully, after you left, please do not come back again~~ Do not ..

Smile~

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My sanctuary

I am living in my own sanctuary

I am happy that my study tools with me

I love my belonging, they are mine

They accompany me everyday, follow me to anywhere...

I am content with them...

They are what i want

In my sanctuary, i am the only one

nobody disturbing and always peace..

My loyalty robot can chat and hear to me, help me clean the house

Healthy foods, my lovely art tools,art magazines, art studio are my daily needs

Everyday enjoy in alone with processing many many ideas and inspirations

Have my own masterpieces ~~~

There are a beautiful landscape or secenery: blue ocean, a fresh green lawn, a pond with cute fishes, fresh air and sunshine day..

(to be continue)

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APPRECIATE

Success to : 1. Have love from family

2. Have love from (good) friends

3. Have a listener

4. Go to KL

3. Drive to school

4. Attend the prom night

5. (to be continue)

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Is for my own good

Second time !!!
This time is a little bit over
...........
Our class is going to SINGAPORE
............
The answers before and after i ask the permission are the same
Thats why i am ok, although my tear drop again

I am smart aleck before asking the permission, promise people that i can go
now, nothing much to say..
just tell them i cant go (they are going to... dont know..)

I cant describe my feeling now, just let it go~
Everything will fine~ Let it go ~

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Go Away !!!

There is no happiness for grudging
I dont have the entitlement to force you to follow me
I had been given up to continue since you dont know appreciate what i did for you

I know you treat me well, i appreciate
But do you ?
I wont sad about it, because it is not belong to me
No point to feel sad too

Now i am trying to let it go ~~ Please fly far away from me
Don't come back again ~ Never ever...

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Stay in...mad

These few day, i am suffer in bad condition.
I don't know what i m doing now~

I want to do my homeworks, but the evils are always annoying me,
my brain is sucked, no idea and refuse to do it.
I have try harder to do it, but it took me the whole day to design one part of the room ONLY !
I am going to insane !! Why i stepping backward ???

Moreover, my car is used to 'decorate', nothing to use for
Just let it rest under the shade..
My car also has a happiness life... 真是托主人的福

So.. !?
I really dont know what to do..
It is useless when i always try asking for drive..

Don't know ...

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The missing wings

For outsider, I am a happiness bird
i have anything that others eager for..
I am lack for 'nothing'.

"I have a happy life" --- this is true.
But how i get it ? --- i exchanged it with MY WINGS

I am a happy bird which stay longer in the cage
I just can see the others birds flying freedom in the sky ~~ fly to anywhere they like ~
through my cage.
When i look at them, i am so envy..
But now i cant do anything, because my cage is locked
even it is unlock, i aslo cant fly to anywhere --- because the wings are not mine
The wings are not belong to me !!!

When i am at outside, i have a temporary wings
it will stop function when the time's up, remind me to back to my cage

Otherwise, i have the fade wings when an aeroplane is above me
(aeroplane's parents = Parents those always guide and instruct their childern strictly, 【直升机父母】）
So 'i can fly' , when they are hold my body

When can i come out from the cage and fly in ease ? When i 21st ?
I dont think so. The real answer is infinity~ unknown ~

I am waiting, i will wait it !
I want volitation, i dont want fly without any meaning...

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Talent !?

What is my talent ? I have no idea...

I am still little bit scare of my ID assignment, it has a lot of works need to do during this holiday. Before took it out, i recalled the scene of that day and my sense of fearing is coming again. But i think that i must overcome and do it as well as possible.

Finally, i nerve myself to take it out then go through my sketches and think how to develop it...

Luckily, my cousin was came to my house. She showed me the interior design which my another cousin brother designed it. He is so excellent.. (admire~envy~)

In the first instance, i want to show her my lousy sketches, at the same time i thought that it is so shameless```

BUT i need to get improve, so i showed her finally.
She really shared a lot of ideassss with me , point out the my 'weird' design..
After that, i was awaken ! Many ideas float in my mind~
( although i think it but not draw it down yet)
THANKS THANKS THANKS... you are my angel ~

Why she has so many ideas in her mind ? why i cant think it before?
Is it she has the talent of thinking ideas ?
I am studying this course, why i cant think it do it as well ??
I dont have the talent ???

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Recall

Today i cleaned my tiny room.

Although it is tiny but i took a whole day to clean it.

I need a bigger room !!! A bigger desk !!!

My desk is too short and narrow to fix my paperssss

and full of stationery, note booksss and etc..

There is almost don't have the walkway to flow, because of my thingsss again.

Lack of storage !!!

I moved out my useless things from the drawer and throwed it with cruelhearted. Goodbye ~

As i cleared my things, i found my 'unique' toys..
These toys are the most fun which i think it. hahaha~

Dala ~

Balloons, UNO dices, cup pads, snoopys and KFC's doll

A 'meal' with 'water'

These toys really let me recall when i was naive ``` i still played it when i was in secondary school.. haha ~

I still remember that my grandma gave us the pail, she found and gave us specially.

While now, the pail is rusted, but the memory is not rusted, it still retained intact.

Besides that, i like to play the cashier game too. You pay for me then i give change for you...

Nice x3 GIFT CARD

Nice~

These cards were 'stole' from the supermarket at Melbourne. :P

There were a lot of these gift card put at counter there to let the clients sign up or what.

Clients can choose it randomly according which one u like most. But as a traveller, i took all ``

I acted like the thief which not stole the clothes but the cards !!! hehe

It really nice, not like our country, cheap and the pictures are monotony...

Ok, after that sorry for i dont have enough space to keep them again,

i make them homeless.

To make sure they can stay longer with me, finally i keep them in the drawer outside my room and it is also the time to pass the toys for my future nephew or neice... and tell them these toys are uniqueness in this world by their aunty.. haha

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Self rescue

I pray i can improve and learn a lot of things everyday.

But, what i had improved ? I feel i have lag behind conversely ~
Maybe i become lazy, lack of self- motivate

I saw my friends' works
they are so so so intelligent, i am scare ~

Now, no one can safe me, the only way is self rescue
I should do smart and hardworking than them many many timessss
I hope i can surmount the difficultiessss...

God bless me ~

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Struggling

Before the presentation of ID, i had done my assign. from the morning
until 4am and it persisted for 4 days !!!
Last time it works for me until i had a good presentation (art history) on the next day.
Unfortunately, this time was totally different... everything is out of my imagination !
(Actually, i also had worried about the presentation for the whole week
because my classmates are too strong! )

On the next day,
poor performance during the presentation.
The lecturer impatience and serious facial expression had drive away my confidence,
i tried to present more but he was keep going said' hurrp up, hurrp up'
my heart was pitpat pitpat ```
finally i done the presentation imperfection (so sad)

Don't know why, after this poor presentation,
i afraid on ID, there is no confidence in my heart now
really scare i cant catch up others' steps...

Moreover, i also suddenly weary of burning the midnight oil
last time it was my 'strength' before the exams and presentation :P
but now it is doesn't work for me...

Now i am feel scare and lack of confident to face the ID
i know this is my major course,the bread and butter in my future.
But the my confidence is far apart ~~

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ARCHIDEX 09

Sentul Park

One part interior of KLPAC

ID juniors, seniors and lec.

Garden: timber floor with stainless steel chair
cool~

Exterior of entrance

Exterior of Building

Effect of concrete with salt

Exhibition name tag

Ladies with lecturer

Guys with lecturer

IDDS2 (083) Happy family

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缘分浅

好景不长在，好花不长开
为什么美好的时光，总是过得这么快

去年，我的傻大姐兼 ibu cacing，Jane
她很美，很善良，很温柔，很厉害画画
虽然我们的年龄差六岁，感情好
可是我们无话不说，只是她只会说英文和福建话
我也借此学英文，再不会就用福建话沟通
我们常坐在一起，一起做功课，互相教导。。。
可是，上天只给我们三个月的时间在一起
她因私人原因而退学了。。

她退学后，有两次在商场遇到她

上个星期五晚上，她终于上网了
我很开心，因为他还记得我的名，还记得班上的同学
我们聊到凌晨三点，虽然当时我的眼皮很重了
可是我那兴致勃勃的精神还在
在我们聊天里，觉得她也很开心，我也就放心了。。。

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接下来是我的大姐大兼老公， Eunice
她也很美，体贴，性格比较大胆
大我五岁，感情非常好，无话不说
我们的形影不离，就是会粘在一起
她很保护我，爱我 （有我择偶的条件，哈哈）
(这里会恶心点)
当我们在上课时，如果我或她爱睡，他就会摸我的大腿
让我精神一下，哈哈哈

可是老天就是要拆散我们
她因家庭经济问题而被逼辍学
我帮不上忙，也不知道该说些什么
只能希望我们可以保持联络，不会忘记对方。

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这位，是位马来人不过像个洋人，眼睛很黑又深凹，鼻子很挺，
很美，很有母爱的样子，很亲切
她是我小学到现在，有史以来，
最最最欣赏，最敬爱，最崇拜，最优秀
还成为我偶像的老师，Sarifah
虽然一个星期只上他的课四小时，
不过我都很期待。
她是唯一一个老师可以让我爱上美术历史
由于她是从英国回来的，所以她教书的方式
完全和其他又无聊又闷又没心教的老师
差太远了 ！！！
在她教导之下，我学会了很多东西，信心也增加了

很开心的一件事： 她竟然记得我的名字。
可能是因为，上课时我都一直看着她，不缺课，
可是每次都迟到的吧 ！ 哈哈
那天，我在班上sms， 突然她问问题，
她直接叫我的名字。。 zhao tze ～
当时不知道要觉得高兴还是紧张。。
我就看着她 > 摇头 > 笑笑
她也看着我笑笑
原来，答案就在黑板 ！！！！！

（又）可是，烂学院，烂院长，
竟然丢信给她，叫她走 ！！！ 理由是她的契约已过了，
不过我觉得真正的理由是：院长要让他刚回来的女儿，接班
shit ！什么烂理由 ！？
难道一山不能藏二虎啊 ？学院这样会吸钱，薪水不够分啊 ？
虽然她不是我主修和副修的老师，可是我不想也不要她走
这样好的人才，院长是瞎了眼，才会做出这样烂的决定。

嗨。。 现在我们也不能做什么，只有有空时期探望她
真的很希望她还会记得我的名字啦 ！
名字忘记了不要紧，记得我的样子也好了，嘻嘻 ！

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开心 > 忧心 = ?

今天七点半就醒了，因为要陪爸去复诊，还有妈和哥。
途中，这样的刚好，媳妇打给我，问我要不要去唱 k，（没考虑就说要了）
我说等我问了才回复她。

你知道啦，要问这样艰难的问题，我一定要通过几关的斩门
一开始，爸说我一定是跟朋友说我今天会去槟城：
之前已经约好了 的意思。
我就觉得很冤枉，根本就没人知道我今天去槟城，
虽然，过后他说是开玩笑的，
不过心一旦被刺过，再拔起来，心还是会痛的
我也不跟他争，只要他允许我去就好了。

过后他不是很想给我去，幸好妈说让我去，因为放假我都每天呆在家
最后，上天保佑，爸让我去。。。
（中间还发生小插曲，不想提了）
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到了红盒子，看到一个星期没见的朋友，之前的事我就抛到后脑了
我们只有五人去唱歌，可是却安排到十人的套房
哇，爽死了！！空间大，荧幕也大，马克风也够
很过瘾 ！！（因为第一次遇到。。哈哈）

先来个王力宏个forever love。 我和 suzen先唱。。
一下而已，我就唱很大声，好像在发泄。。
没有唱歌天分的我，声带就一下破了，哈哈哈
不过，我还是照样拼命地唱，
因为重要的是大家一起唱的快乐，而不是我那沙哑的声音
有杀错没放过，几乎每一首我都有贡献，嘻嘻嘻
就是要放，要过瘾，要开心嘛```
还有我很像老人，当我在点歌时，因为他们把灯都调最暗的
我看不到，一直按错，还按到skip，
他们在唱着一半时，就这样，pom 停了，他们就喂～～我
哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！过后我还一直笑。。。
（间中，爸打来说最好六点就好搭船回家了）

唱完，我们就到台湾风味请去喝喝，鸡婆鸡婆一下
喝喝喝，吃吃吃，讲讲讲，笑笑笑
开心的时光总是过得特别快
六点了 ！！！

爸打来了时，我们才要付钱，我却说走着去坐车了（我承认，是我撒谎！）
这是我就紧张有压力了，因为他在电话里的语气，有暴风雨即将来临的感觉
由 suzen 载我去码头， 可是她还要买点东西，虽然只是一下，可是我急了！
我知道要坐人家的车，不可赶人，也不可摧人
可是，朋友，不好意思。。。

在码头时，我很忐忑不安，很怕被骂
我走得很快，很快。。

总于到了，坐在车上了我一声都没发
当时我的快乐都被这些讨厌的后果和心情吞没了。
一滴的墨汁已经把我蔚蓝的海洋给污染了。

每次都是这样
和朋友的开心的背后一定会背着忧心的后果。

算了，，，我会不高兴是因为之前我已经尝过快乐的滋味
今天，虽然是不高兴的收场，可是至少我还记得那快乐的时光。

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同感

下午，朋友叫我解释他朋友所写的文章
此文章如下：

你可以很习惯一个人
但你不一定爱他
可是
如果你爱一个人
你一定会习惯他。。
习惯真的是一种很可拍得病毒

习惯自己一个人还可以
习惯别人可免则免
我不想被习惯这词玩死
朋友也好
情人也好
还是一个人最好

我看了，马上心头涌起一种感觉
原来不是我一个人，会被习惯的病毒缠身
原来这病毒还会扩散到别人的脑里
本来宁静，天真的思想，
被病毒搞得
胡思乱想，神经错乱，失去理智 。。

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谁给自己听

有许多体验难以表述，有许多感觉难你表达。
生命的体会，唯有当事人最深刻，在旁边观看或聆听的其他人，
皆无法感受你的感觉，甚至觉得你很荒谬。

对于懂得你的人，也许他了解你，也许他曾经和你有同样的遭遇，
所有的诉说倒成了多余。

难处是，并不容易遇到一个和你共鸣的人。

一路走着一路盼着，路上可能有和你一起并排行走，
然而，心底生出始终寂寞。

伴你一起走的人，有着相同的机遇，感受却完全非常个人。

无需感叹，因为每一个人都是独立的一个人。
你是你自己。
没有人像你，你也不会像别人。

既然是自己的感觉，自己的体会，那就说给自己听吧。

（抄自：大耳）

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当了半天的女生

今天我尽然当了女生，感觉真的很怪，很不自然。
今天要拍全家福，所以我就牺牲我的样子，改性变女生半天。哈哈哈

下午，我终于可以自己驾车。。和妹妹去弄头发了。
奇迹，爸让我驾去。幸好有位子给我停。

这次是第一次为我的头发，动‘发’术。
我去压直，本来头发凌乱的我，突然间变得很整齐，直直的
可是我是去做暂时的，不是永久的，所以一碰到水，我的蓬发就还原了。

要拍全家福时，我换上了我的黑色洋装，穿上我那3吋的高跟鞋，不要化妆
可以想象出我的样子吗？哈哈，我一直觉得我像 gay lou。
站一下而已，我的脚就在喊救命了。。。

拍时：来黑衣的妹妹，向左移一点，诶，右一点，好，来，大家笑笑
有一张，由于本人太矮了，穿高跟鞋还是不够高，还需要垫子 ！！！
就这样，前一点，后一点，这里一点，那里一点，笑笑。
拍完了。

拍完后，眼睛也蒙蒙的，赶快换回我原来的装，t-shirt + jeans
哇～～～ 舒服多了 ！还是简简单单的打扮是最好的。

过后，我和家人就去合尼吃晚餐
吃完就回家咯。

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焕然一新

>>>

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呼吸一下

哇，平均一个月写一次，因为被忙淹没了
现在呼吸一下，呼。。。 吸。。。

这一个月来，不知道发生了什么事， 忙到忘记了
只知道每天迟睡早起，然后就开工到深夜

最近也没什么特别的事，可是我又觉得我好像有事
上几个星期，突然间的，我和巧克力变得很多话讲
还记得以前，我看到他上线，我就会 appear offline，
因为他的话讲不完，很烦人的！
可是不知道为什么，我突然间觉得跟他谈天。。是不错的啦

奇怪的是，我们在学校，完完全全没有打招呼，想陌生人一样
只有一次我一个人上厕所遇到他时，我们就酱‘嗨’罢了
平常，我不看他，他也不看我。奇怪！
最近他应该是没空，我在 msn 跟他讲话，他都不应我，还下线

我惨了咯，又被习惯害了我， 啊 ！！！
惨了啦，难道我。。。 有‘问题’
不会吧，也不要，更不可以

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新的开始

从开学到现在，都一直在忙着。。
新的一年，大家都分到不同的班去了
老师也换到我不喜欢的 ~~
很幸运的，我还可以和老公，儿子，干妈，还有其他的朋友同班
很伤心的，我们没和我的媳妇同班，少了可以 胡闹的朋友，
我的儿子更伤心啦 ~~
不过，我们还有一起吃午餐，聚一聚

新的班，已开始真得很难相处
我就更惨了，好像都不能融入这一班。。。
开学的第一天，画画老师就叫我们画人体（有穿衣的），酱就惨咯
以前我们从来没画过；其他的朋友就不一样，他们以前是给这个老师教的
我画的就人不像人，像外星人。。。 哈哈哈！

画完了以后，老师就一张一张的‘展示’给大家看
我的每次都被取笑，虽然我看了也觉得很好笑
可是久了，我会觉得是一种侮辱
每次被取笑，每次都很伤心
有一次，老师说要去和我以前的老师投诉我画得很烂
我直接吓呆了，第一次被老师投诉
就因为这样，下一次时，我真得很用心的画，总算老师说我有进步了
这是我才松了一口气

开学第一天以来，总是一直忙和赶
功课很很很多
还有，为什么我每次都是最后一个，手脚很慢 ~~ 新的一年，有新的目标
希望我有进步，不断的进步。。。

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