Missing Direction

Now is not the time for me to blogging,
but i dont know how to solve my problem..

First week of opening school had passed, everyone is seem like refresh and
become 'stronger' after the come back from holiday
And i am scare of them..

Everything is back to the origin, i am alone when i in the class
Really dont know the problem is come from me or what..
i can join them when they are fooling around,
they always speak lauder, so i sure lose them, i just sit behind
and laugh with their jokes

Sometimes i try to be fun with them
but when i try to say something funny or jokes
totally no respond afterward, ok~ maybe that is not funny at all
i try to use 'their language' to make fun
but same result
Sometimes i also feel that, why i want to use people language ?
that is not me ! not a real Z !!

I totally dont know how to solve the problem
on the other way, i am worry that my friend will criticise me
say me i am not friendly and arrogant

To avoid these kind of things, i had helped them a lot
UNFORTUNALY, they always give me the respond that make sad
for instance, my friend told me that he cant use the software
i try to ask my other friend, brother, even explode myself to answer him
finally, he can use it but he DID NOT let me know
luckily i heard it , if not i am the idiot to help him, meaningless
Now is my turn, i cant activate the software, i told my friend
what is his respond ??? NO ANSWER
he asked me how to use the software ? ask this ask that CONVERSELY
FINE ~~~ i am fine ~

The most thing that i worry is my studies
i cant lose again ... cant lose...
they are strong, everyday they look relax and enjoy
in real, they have done the work at home
i am worry ... thats why sometimes i will suffer with my fast heartbeat